Being selfish has a bad reputation that is strictly associated to an excessive, self-centred attitude at the expenses of other people’s needs. After all, if we were to Google the word “selfish” this is what comes out:
Selfish
/ˈsɛlfɪʃ/
adjective
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.
Whilst this is the most widely accepted and recognised form of selfishness, I think it is worth mentioning that there are two types of selfishness:
- Bad Selfishness: That reflects the above definition;
- Good Selfishness: Making yourself your first priority, but not necessarily at the expenses of other people’s needs nor it is a lack of consideration of other people.
In this article we will focus on the latter. So, here’s 6 reasons why you need to be selfish.
Put your own oxygen mask on first
Whenever you are flying on an airplane, during the safety instructions you will be told to put your own oxygen mask on first in case of a drop of pressure in the cabin.
This is because if you run out of oxygen first, you can’t help others with their oxygen mask.
This is a clear example of how it is extremely important to look after yourself first before you can look after other people, and this principle can be translated into everyday’s life too. How are you supposed to help others and take care of them if your energy and self-esteem are drained? In other words, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
You won’t live by the expectations of others
Being selfish means forcing yourself to reflect on your values, your priorities and identifying what makes you happy the most so you can live an happy life. This means to have integrity by living by your values and beliefs.
A lack of selfishness in these circumstances leads to a failure to identify your core values and setting your priorities straight, resulting in you having to live by someone else’s values and letting them take control over your priorities so that you have to live by their expectations. Some people will always prefer you to see you as the illusion they’ve created in their heads, rather than who you actually are. Don’t let their delusion disrupt your reality.
You’ll be more resilient
Resilience is the process of adapting to stressful situation or crises and recovering from them. A good example of resilience is the property of an elastic band to return to its original shape after being stretched.
Whenever life throws shit at you it is important to maintain your integrity and have self-control over that stressful event as this will allow you to carefully analyse the situation, process it in a healthy way and formulate an ‘exit plan’ to go back to normal. This is only possible when you process your feelings first and make sure you are in a good place before you start to take on other people’s problems.
You’ll improve your relationships
Whether it is friendship, love, family or even work, being a little bit selfish will improve these relationships as it enables you to trace some boundaries. It is fundamental to put yourself first in a relationship (to a certain degree), especially when you are dealing with obsessive and possessive people with whom you have some kind of relationship, who wants your full attention, tries to manipulate and brain wash you.
These kinds of toxic relationships can go as far as making you doubt about your self worth, your values and your desires.
So, be a bit selfish and enforce some boundaries. If something is affecting your well-being, it might be time to say goodbye.
Increases your self-worth
Another reason why it’s good to be selfish is that you get to live according to your values and gives you the opportunity to set a clear path to get to your goals. This will enable to discover why you matter and how worthy you are: worthy to have a better relationship, worthy to have a better job, worthy to love and be loved, but most of all worthy to be happy. It will help you make good decisions which are centred to you.
Once this becomes clear you will be able to easily identify all the things in your life that are simply not worth your attention.
Selfishness improves your mental health
When you add a little bit of selfishness in your life, you will become a better person as you will live by your own values, you hold yourself accountable for your decisions and emotions, you set clear boundaries with others so that don’t step in the way of your goals, you know how much you are worth and you become more aware that you deserve to be happy, and that happiness won’t come from anyone but yourself. This will greatly benefit your mental health and you will also be an inspiration for others, encouraging them to be a little bit selfish too, hence, helping them to take care of themselves.
Conclusion
Being selfish has a bad reputation, but the reality is that you can be a good selfish person. You can be that kind of selfish person that acknowledges that it is OK, if not fundamental, to consider and process your feelings and emotions first before helping others; it is OK to do what makes YOU happy; it is OK to quit a toxic environment that manipulates you for an advantage that is not yours; it is OK to say goodbye to people in your life that don’t respect you for who you are and what you are worth.
This is not a ticket to be on the extreme side of being selfish, but just an encouragement to be selflessly selfish.